Why We Say Yes When We Really Mean No [Infographic]

Just in case you hadn't noticed, not all "yeses" are created equal.

We've all done it. We've all said "yes" when we really felt "no", and then either breathed a sigh of relief, suffered the consequences, or got into it and ended up enjoying ourselves after all. 

It's useful to peek under the rug and take a look at why it is that we say "yes" when we do. Following is an infographic that I adapted from some of the brilliant work of Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are

It's Not Just About Sex

The topic of this infographic is sexual consent; however, I invite you to broaden the scope to include anything from saying "yes" to getting married, going to college, having children ... even just going to a party. Are you saying "yes" because you're champing at the bit, or are you saying "yes" because you feel like it's expected of you?

Our Relationship With the Planet

If you expand the "consent" model further, it could even be applied to our relationship with the Earth. 

When we eat wild foods, we are consuming what the Earth provides freely, with enthusiastic consent. She is growing the plants and animals anyway out of the sheer joy of being alive, and there is plenty to share. 

When we ask Earth to grow plants or animals that she would not normally grow on a small scale and say "thank you" by giving back nutrients, I imagine her response is willing consent.

However, when we grow plants and animals on a large scale as we are doing now, destroying her soil and poisoning her water, I suspect that we enter the realm of "coerced consent", and we are beginning to see her resentment in the form of climate change and famine.

So, with that food for thought, please enjoy the infographic, and feel free to share.

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